Risk

"And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

Risk is a challenging thing. History is written by the winner. This was an idea that was most poignant when I was reading a delightful book titled, "A Brief History of Everything" by Bill Bryson. Bryson takes time to share not only the souls whose names are taught in schools and lauded by the world for their brilliance, but the obscure and equally brilliant characters who had the same insights, crafted the same theories, but for some cruel reason, lacked the ability to telegraph their message to the world. I learned a lesson here that is a truth about our world. In order to acheive your goals, whatever they may be, you must risk. Sometimes you risk small, sometime you risk it all.

Perhaps the most visceral example of this kind of risk was the birth of our children. I had the privilege of participating in this incredible event. In hindsight, I was really just a bystander. My participation came 9 months earlier. What I marvelled at was the level of risk that my wife had to take. She really didn't have much choice in the matter. That risk was thrust upon her. Childbirth is both natural and incredibly risky. So many things can go wrong. Complications can occur. Death can occur. We were scared.

For me, theatre was all about risk. Every night the curtain went up and the show began, there was risk. Being an imaginative theatre person, it was easy to play out all the possible risks in my mind. What if the audience doesn't laugh? What if I can't hear the music? What if my hearing aid batteries die? What if I trip and fall? What if... What if... What if...

I learned that these "what if" questions I was imagining could either cripple me or empower me. I learned that I could reinforce my doubts if I wanted. These "what if'" questions could help me identify all the reasons not to take the risk. In contrast, I learned that for every "what if" question I could devise an answer and come up with a solution. I could recognize the possibility of failure and meet it head on. I could find courage.

I believe that courage lies in being able to intimately know your fear. I believe that heroes and other brave types are also the ones who know their fear. They don't shut it off or ignore it. They embrace it and dance with it until they are able to channel the energy into action.

Einstein had every reason to doubt himself. Every reason to think that some established physicist might steal his ideas and publish them. He had every reason to keep his insight secret and protected and safe. But he didn't. He risked. Steve Jobs had every reason to be bitter at the company that fired him. He had every reason to doubt that his dreams were technically impossible. But he didn't. He risked. The Dalai Lama has every reason to fear for his life. He has every reason to hide in seclusion and make his teachings exclusive to only those whom he knows he can trust. But he doesn't. He risks.

When I put the risks I face in light of these people and the risks they take. Each of these people: my wife, a great scientist, a great capitalist, and an inspired teacher, all have taken risks that put me at ease with the fears and doubts I have. These heroes of mine inspire me to recognize my doubts and fears. I get to know them well, so that they may serve me in my journey through the risk to the learning that awaits me on the other side of it.

OB